The Donkey Kong machine argument. That was when I first realized something was missing from our relationship. To me, this classic arcade game was all about freedom, but Ari's sole focus seemed to lie on the princess and how he was "going to tap that big titty ho". The thought of Ari cheating on me with this 8-bit hussy sent me into a jealous rage whereupon I hit the machine with a fire extinguisher.