I randomly chose an old conversation I had saved and reread it. It was with a good friend who lives in Kansas. The last thing I said in it was "I cannot help you to see things you do not wish to see. And it hurts to see you like this. You can either will yourself to stay the same, or will yourself to change. There is no difference in effort, only direction."
I'm very proud of that sentiment. Don't know where this stuff comes from sometimes.